I’m A Stay-At-Home Mom With Dreams Of Consulting Again. Can I Do It?

A big disclaimer:

This post could be titled “A Man Mansplains How A Stay-At-Home Mom Can Return To Consulting.” I share this because I know how this advice might come across. I’ve tried to eliminate the mansplaining and point out where I may fall short. I’m not a working mom. So I don’t know the extent of the societal sh*t you must deal with every day. I considered not publishing this piece but ultimately decided to do so (with this disclaimer). I’m interested in your thoughts on the post.

Can you be a great consultant and a great mom? Absolutely yes, you can. Here’s one way to do it. Photo by Brian Wangenheim on Unsplash

I stumbled on a post over at preplounge.com that caught my attention. Check out this anonymous post. 

Anonymous A asks:

“Hi, I am a mother of two young kids and was previously working in consulting with one of the Big 4 (lots of change management work then).

I have been slowly working my way to getting more experience in strategy consulting, but had to halt plans due to birth of my second kid a year ago. Since then, I have been a stay home mom.

As I have two young kids and not much help in the way of parents or caregivers, I am thinking that I would have to put my dreams of consulting on hold for now.”

After contemplating her possible return, she asks how best to do it.

Before addressing the how, here’s my take on her bigger question: should she pursue her consulting dreams right now?

I will never fully understand the challenges a mom returning to work faces. I’m not a mom. But I do understand that pursuing your dream is a must. If you’re thinking about possibly doing it now, then now is precisely the time to do it.

So, I encourage you to do it now!

Do it. Consider your needs first.

I offer three suggestions centered on your needs as a whole person. My advice: recognize who you want to be, highlight how you are different, and own your fate.

Recognize the “abyss”

Recognize who you want to be, not what society expects you to be.

My wife introduced me to Emily Nagoski, Ph.D.’s book Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle. In it, Emily introduces the concept of the abyss, the huge gap between you and expected you.

It’s not your fault that you don’t meet the world’s absurd expectations. But the abyss is real. And there is an emotional weight that comes with realizing who you are will never match who the world expects you to be.

The key is to recognize the abyss. You want to be an independent consultant who needs help with the kids. Society expects you to be an associate partner, chair the school PTA, have the perfect family, and keep the perfect home. You know the abyss exists. So try your best to be yourself and not your expected you.

I’m no expert on topics like the abyss. I urge you to read Emily’s book. She puts words to the everyday experiences that women endure.

Differentiate yourself

Embrace your uniqueness because it’s a good business strategy.

The real tragedy in business is sameness. A mom returning to work isn’t like every other consultant. You can’t do the same work or keep the same schedule. I say flip that on its head. Think in the inverse.

“Different is better… that thing that made you weird as a kid can make you great as an adult if you don’t lose it.” — Kevin Kelly, founder of Wired Magazine

How are you different, and how can that be attractive to potential clients? I’ve seen many projects that need a strong leader but lack the budget to support full-time work. Great! Part-time work or partial-year work might be a perfect fit for you. But how you differentiate yourself should not be limited to work schedules.

What’s your specialty? What’s your industry? Don’t be afraid to narrow your consulting niche. Deep expertise drives increased billing rates and shorter projects. Remote work minimizes travel. So you can work with a niche client located 2,000 miles away.

Start your own business

Take control of your fate by wrestling power back from others.

The responses to the Anonymous post on PrepLounge detailed the not-so-accommodative work policies at the major consulting firms. I found the comments disheartening.

I think the big firms are trying to be flexible. But the economic incentive just isn’t there. This is a problem because there are a lot of consultants who would prefer more flexible schedules.

My solution is that you take control. Don’t rely on consulting firms’ HR policies. After all, once you find a good HR policy, it will change. I’ve seen it. Instead, make your own policy. Do it by starting your own business.

That’s what I did. I started Herriot Business Consulting, LLC in 2017. I have a razor-thin niche: program management for large-scale system implementations at West Coast-based health insurers. And I choose to take on projects based on how they fit into my life.

Get yourself ready by breaking free from conventional ways of thinking.

Do it. Next, build your community.

A singular focus on oneself is a recipe for loneliness. My next three suggestions will help you build a community to accelerate your success. My advice: connect with fellow independent consultants, look for work where work is plentiful, and be okay with sacrificing to get your first client.

Join a community of like-minded consultants

It’s healthy and savvy to connect with fellow independents.

Building a community of consultants has two primary benefits.

• Learning. You can learn who’s hiring, the current market rates, and industry trends.

• Camaraderie. You can share leads. Or, you can provide moral support and bounce ideas off each other.

Use LinkedIn Sales Navigator to seek out independent consultants beyond your existing network.

Here is what I do. Adapt it as you like.

My people search filter: Connection-2nd degree, Industry-Business Consulting and Services, IT Services and IT Consulting, Company headcount-Self-employed, 1–10, Past company-Accenture.

My connection request: Hi, I’m a former management consultant (Accenture) who recently started my own independent practice. I’m looking to build my peer network with others similar to me! We’re linked through X; X’s great! Would you like to connect? -Brian

Make it a habit to reach out, provide value, and schedule virtual 1:1s.

Go to where the work is

Confirm your niche buys lots of consulting services.

Of course, it makes sense to go fishing where they bite. For example, I have strong professional networks at Kaiser Permanente and UCSF Health. But Kaiser buys 50X the consulting services, so I focus there. I recently heard that Nike has hundreds of Accenture consultants on projects (not verified). If I worked in the consumer goods industry, I’d fish there!

Where did you previously work? Where did you consult? Who are your biggest fans? Start there and talk to people. And become an expert on your target clients. Study the businesses in your niche.

LinkedIn Sales Navigator works well here too. Use account alerts to stay updated on target companies. Seek out 2nd-degree contacts and meet with them. All connections are valuable as you build company knowledge.

Join networks to find your first client

Be willing to give up margin to get working quickly.

Here we go one step better than targeting companies that buy consulting services: We find specific, published consulting needs through a consulting network. I recommend this approach for getting your first client.

Yes, you’ll give up a percentage of revenue. But the value to you is getting started quickly. Without real experience, refining your niche and offerings is hard.

Check out these consulting networks if you’re in the United States: Umbrex, A-Connect, BTG, and Insight Global. I list overseas networks near the end of this post.

Remember to leverage existing consulting networks at the same time you pursue direct client sales. The latter is more lucrative and should be your goal for all client engagements after your first.

Target 10 total conversations a week. That’s only two per day. You’ll capture the pulse of the industry. And then you’ll land that first gig.

Pursuing your dream is a must. If you’re considering consulting again, now is the time to do it!

— 

Brian Herriot runs the risk of mansplaining from his home in Alameda, California, and cabin in Hazelhurst, Wisconsin. He also prepares financial freedom plans for consultants and other mid-career professionals in one-week sprints. Check out his take on a new and different kind of retirement at choosyconsultant.com.