My life view changed in my 40s. I trace it back to Marissa Mayer.
Life has its ups and downs. It can be a real struggle, especially when you’re high profile. The best we can do is to find the people who can help us get through.
SAN FRANCISCO, CALIFORNIA — OCTOBER 04: Lumi Labs (now Sunshine) Co-founder Marissa Mayer speaks onstage during TechCrunch Disrupt San Francisco 2019 at Moscone Convention Center on October 04, 2019 in San Francisco, California. Photo by Steve Jennings/Getty Images for TechCrunch. This file is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 Generic license.
I don’t have brushes with fame. It’s probably because I grew up in rural Wisconsin and now live in a sleepy community in the Bay Area. I have a friend who went to college with Tucker Carlson, knows Chelsea Handler, and has met Courtney Cox. Not me. On a recent bus tour of LA, I thought I saw Kevin Kline riding his Vespa on Sunset Boulevard. My wife informed me that I was sorely mistaken.
My only brush with fame came at a distance of 100 miles. Not very close.
How I came to know (about) Marissa Mayer
In July 2012, I was six months into a new job. It was my first as a director, commuting 2 1/2 hours into San Francisco each day. At the time, I was also waking up every night to soothe my 1-year-old son. I was working really hard and managing it all pretty well. I was on my way to some stellar career success…
Early one morning, I saw that Yahoo! named Marissa Mayer its CEO. We were both 37 years old. I was impressed.
It was our identical ages that drove me to dive deeper. I found myself googling her. Marissa graduated high school in 1993 in Wausau, Wisconsin. That’s only 100 miles from where I grew up, in Ripon, Wisconsin.
In late 1993, we both took off to college and now she was the CEO of Yahoo! It took her only 15 years after graduating. I was really impressed.
I also felt pretty unsuccessful personally. (Be careful who you compare yourself to, right?) I was working really hard, but for what? Over the next few weeks, I remember thinking, “What am I doing with my career? What am I working toward? Is this a mid-life crisis?”.
Marissa Mayer had triggered the first shock to what I thought I could achieve professionally. I guess I thought I, too, could be a Yahoo! CEO someday…I don’t know what I thought. My wife just laughed at me.
It’s crazy to think it’s been over ten years since that fateful July day. I’ve done a lot of personal reflection since then.
I google Marissa now and again. Her time at Yahoo! is in the past. She has a new start-up, Sunshine, that keeps her busy. I also see what looks like a pretty normal life. I remain impressed and happy for her.
But this year, I decided to learn a little more because every story has nuance. I learned a lot. Not about management lessons and corporate turnaround strategies but about success and what it means to live a fulfilled life.
Marissa’s and my similarities run deep
I uncovered a lot of similarities.
In school, we tended toward math and science. I’ve been labeled smart, but that’s easy in high school. It’s a small pond. Never the absolute best; we rely on hard work and preparation, which will get you far. Hard work is our true superpower. Marissa takes it to the extreme.
She’s shy. Marissa revealed that she has to discipline herself to overcome shyness in social settings. This is like my plan from middle school: I forced myself to meet friends outside for recess instead of ducking into the more comfortable “chess and checkers” room. I joined the drama and speech clubs in high school to further challenge myself.
It’s okay to make mistakes and to fail. Just keep moving. -I learned that Marissa fails fast and then quickly corrects.
Marissa was a successful debater in high school. I chose forensics and competed as an orator. I wonder if she and I attended the same national speech tournament in Indianapolis in the spring of 1993.
She was close with her teachers. I loved my teachers. I can’t know this about her, but I wonder if Marissa had a lot of friends growing up. I had just two or three true friends in middle and high school.
Marissa considered becoming a professor. She also taught introductory computer programming at East Palo Alto Charter School. I taught physics through Teach for America at Edna Karr High School in New Orleans. I love teaching and coaching to this day.
We both work hard and can make decisions quickly once informed. We operate from our brains more so than our hearts. I’ve forced myself to think big and feel my feelings. It’s tough.
Like me, colleagues must prove themselves to Marissa. Once they do, they’ve got a supporter for life.
Make time to wander and see where life takes you. -I learned that Marissa started Sunshine with an old friend and then took time to find a signature product.
Marissa is humble. In several interviews, she gives credit for her successes. That’s true Level 5 leader stuff. For example, she gave Jerry Yang credit for Yahoo!’s Alibaba investment. She brought Yahoo! Finance And Yahoo! Sports to mobile. But she always credits the original brand builders.
In a more recent interview, Marissa talked about building a team of smart, nice people at Sunshine. As Wisconsinites, I think we both appreciate “Minnesota nice.”
Sunshine’s company culture statement from its About page.
I uncovered one difference between us. Marissa is a master holiday decorator. I’m terrible.
Plus, an obvious second: Marissa’s significant professional and financial successes outshine me. That’s a big difference. 🙂
To what do I attribute her success? Marissa works really hard. I mean, really, really hard. We’re the same age, but she’s probably worked 3x more hours than me. I learned that she pulled 250 all-nighters within her first five years at Google. And she’s far more successful for it…
It reminds me of my dad’s guidance from years ago. He taught me that he could care less what achievement grades I received in elementary school. He only cared about my effort grades. Do you remember those? The effort grade signified how hard I worked for the achievement grade. I was lucky to learn that lesson early.
Learning more will help me in my journey
I spent about ten hours reading, watching, and listening to stories about Marissa Mayer. I’m glad that I did it. But I’m still not sure I know the real Marissa.
David Senra hosts a podcast that I love. He’s read hundreds of business, sports, and music visionaries' biographies. (I highly recommend Founders.) One episode that stands out features Tiger Woods. Like my experience, David said after studying him deeply, he still doesn’t know the real Tiger.
I’d love to meet Marissa someday so I can learn more.
How has moving through her 40s and having a family changed her outlook on life?
Where does she fall on the spectrum of wanting more versus having enough?
From where does Sunshine’s mission to employ smart, nice, and diverse people stem?
Is she in touch with her emotions? (This is a challenge for me.) We’re both so analytical.
And, of course,
How often do you get back to Wausau, and does your family like lakes? We’d love to have you all join us for a day at our cabin in the Northwoods. 🙂
I’m happy living a smaller life, so long as the few people who pass through it leave better off for having done so. -I learned this about myself after studying Marissa Mayer.
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Brian Herriot gets introspective from his home in Alameda, California, and cabin in Hazelhurst, Wisconsin. He also prepares financial freedom plans for consultants and other mid-career professionals in one-week sprints. Check out his take on a new and different kind of retirement at choosyconsultant.com.